HJNO May/Jun 2023

46 MAY / JUN 2023 I  HEALTHCARE JOURNAL OF NEW ORLEANS CHILDREN’S HEALTH Howto start amental healthdialogue with your child Following are several tips for parents to consider when starting a mental health conversation with their kids. Educate yourself on mental health issues and create a comfortable space for conversation Parents who have an awareness of symptoms of mental health disorders will feel better prepared before speaking with their child. Parents should establish a non- judgmental energetic space that feels safe and comfortable for the child in terms of dialogue. It’s also important for parents to know how to emotionally ground them- selves and practice active listening. When a parent is calm, grounded, and has no dis- tractions, they are more likely to commu- nicate and listen in a clear, nonjudgmental way. Let the conversation flow naturally Parents should resist the urge to push the conversation in a particular direction. Let it flow — don’t force the conversation. Try engaging with your child during a shared, low-key activity like driving home from school or taking a walk in the park. Conversations tend to flow more easily during these times because it feels non- confrontational to the child. When your child is ready to open up, make it a judge- free zone. Be open, understanding, and empathetic. Validate your child’s emotions It’s important for parents to normalize their child’s feelings as much as possible and to let them know that what they are feeling is normal. This is validating for the child. It can also be helpful for the parent to acknowledge their own similar experi- ences, while keeping focus on what their child is struggling with. As well, parents can reflect statements back to the child to demonstrate they are listening and be- ing empathetic (e.g., “I’m hearing that you are stressed about getting into a good college.”) Essentially, if you are open and honest about the topic of mental health, it’s more likely your child will realize it is nothing to be ashamed of and will be more comfortable approaching you with any problems. Be an attentive listener Let your child tell their story. There is no need to problem solve in the moment. Instead, ask gentle, open-ended questions without dispensing advice. When explor- ing and expressing their feelings, parents may guide their child in answering these questions verbally or on paper: What am I feeling? Why am I feeling this way? What clues does your body give you when you’re starting to become stressed or upset? How can I feel better? While listening to your child, it is also important for parents to understand how their child is coping with their mental health challenges. Do they practice healthy coping strategies? Where is your child presently finding joy in life, if at all? Do they have thoughts of self-harm? This can all be part of the conversation. Reach out for professional guidance when needed When parents need additional help to manage their child’s mental health strug- “Taking an honest and vulnerable approach in the way we communicate with children will help them feel more relaxed and willing to share in a similar way.” gles, they should contact their pediatrician or a child therapist for guidance. When therapy is recommended, we encourage families to look at it as a powerful source of support for the entire family, in con- junction with a positive approach to com- munication at home. Oftentimes, the most communicative children shut down and resist talking. The best practice for par- ents and therapists to follow is to simply go with that resistance — back off and try again later. Letting the child know you are there for them when they are ready offers reassurance. The most important thing you can do is be available to your child when they are ready to talk. At a minimum, I would en- courage you to engage in five minutes of real talk every day. Make time for mean- ingful connections, check on a loved one, discuss your struggles, ask for help. Chil- dren’s has started a High5 Challenge to encourage this daily real talk. You can join me in taking the #High5Challenge, which you can learn more about at this link: https://youtu.be/wEI5h-kzHTg. n Kristi Broussard is a licensed professional social worker affiliated with Children’s Hospital New Or- leans. She also practices at a school-based health center for adolescents in partnership with LSU Ad- olescent Medicine.