HJNO May/Jun 2023

HEALTHCARE JOURNAL OF NEW ORLEANS  I  MAY / JUN 2023 45 • They may feel isolated and misun- derstood, believing their family won’t “get it.” • Some children will avoid talking about it because they simply don’t want to appear less-than-perfect in the eyes of their parents. This can manifest into feelings of shame and embarrassment. • They believe they are to blame for their anxiety, sadness, grief, or pain, perpetuating internal isolation. • Parents might blame themselves for their child’s mental health challeng- es. Parents who have made an active investment in their child’s life tend to hold the perspective that they are re- sponsible for all the care and knowing that falls under that umbrella of love. And when issues come up with men- tal health, parents are quick to ask themselves, “Why didn’t I know about this? Why didn’t I see this coming?” As a licensed social worker who works with many families, I frequently remind parents that we are all human, and we are learning as we go along. The unknowns that may come up with your child’s mental health are often a surprise and can create a rippling effect that affects the entire family dynamic. Sometimes we have to take a step back and look at the big picture in an honest way and ask ourselves, “How do I fit into this? Has a past experience been a contributor? What may need to change for this situation to improve? Taking an honest and vulner- able approach in the way we communicate with children will help them feel more re- laxed and willing to share in a similar way. Kristi Broussard, LMSW Social Worker Children’s Hospital New Orleans In today’s world, children are inundated with information on the internet — true or false — which can contribute to the inevita- ble rabbit holes children go down in terms of what they typically perceive as reality. This can create a distorted perception of the world around them, manifesting confusion and self-doubt. This includes social media and the pressure to have an online pres- ence that reflects a perfect life, as well as the results of the emotional turmoil asso- ciated with peer comments and not getting enough “Likes” in posts. We are also seeing trends on platforms like TikTok where self- harm behaviors, such as cutting, are being promoted as appropriate ways to manage stress. Children typically look to peers for validation and acceptance, so online con- tent created by other children and teens makes a direct impact, whether positive or negative. Mental health: Why is it a hard topic for parents and children to talk about? The topic of mental health, in general, is simply not a typically integrated aspect of conversation in families. Families are busy managing multiple areas of their dai- ly lives that include everything from work, finances, school, extracurricular activities, and the list goes on. We are caught up in the motion of living at a faster pace and fit- ting as much as we can into the day. Rhe- torically speaking, who has time to think about mental health, let alone address it? Depending on the foundation a family has laid for communication, this will play a role in how comfortable and open they are in sharing their emotions and feelings. If parents/caregivers and their children don’t already have an open, trusting di- alogue when communicating, it will cer- tainly be tougher to begin doing so when it’s time to address mental health issues. So, they may feel overwhelmed or unsure how to proceed. When we think about stigmas related to mental health, we often see a negative association more typically attached to the parents’ belief system rather than the child’s. The social acceptance of seeking treatment for mental health problems is relatively new and still has a long way to go. But most adults are more likely to have grown up being told to manage their emo- tions internally — “don’t cry” or “be a big girl/boy” — and that can potentially be an integrated aspect of their parenting style. However, one of the many benefits of liv- ing in a more progressivelyminded culture in America than previous generations — as well as in the age of communicative tech- nology — is that children have far great- er exposure to the societal conversation on the importance of addressing mental health issues. The gap between the parents’ and the child’s perceptions of addressing mental health can also create discord in the relationship in terms of children feel- ing uncomfortable about sharing their emotional struggles. When children experience symptoms of anxiety or depression, they may not have a compass to navigate their feelings and emotions. Because of this, several things can happen: • Children may worry they will be a burden for their parents/caregiver if they bring it up.